52. Report - Aggression 2

Gol Gumbaz, Muslim mausoleum

 

Hundreds of people flock to the entrance hall of the Gol Gumbaz. The mausoleum consists of a simple interior with four large corner towers.

 

Strange screams can be heard from the dome. They are created by the echo effect of what was then the fourth largest dome in architectural history.

 

7-story corner tower

The front corner tower serves as an entrance. A large crowd tries to get through a narrow doorway into the stairwell. But it builds up because everyone wants to go in at the same time. A good-natured overseer tries in vain to bring order to the crowd.

 

Orderly queuing rarely works in India. I myself stand on the "right" side of the queue and watch with a rumbling stomach as people who have just arrived on the wrong side push their way forward again.

 

It's pressing behind me. A younger girl squeezes between me and the wall. Well, I let it happen without further indignation. Another child squeezes past me behind her. OK. Then it pushes a little more, the woman could be the mother of the two children and will follow them. OK. Then it gets even rougher. Out of the corner of my eye I see a balding man behind me who also wants to get through, presumably it is the fatherly protector of the family. But I've had enough now and I extend my elbow. No problem for him: with manly strength he pushes my elbow forward and tries to make room. But I'm boiling now and I push my upper body back in front of him. He lets out an ambiguous sound. I'm tense and ready to fight. He stays behind me from now on.

A huge dome with a diameter of 37.9 m

Finally it goes forward and at the end a tidy queue walks seven floors up a steep narrow stair-case. On the intermediate floors, pushers keep trying to get to the front of the line. More than once I tap someone on the shoulder and point my thumb backwards. 

The whole self-opinionated narrowness of my being German comes to bloom. Unfortunately. But what should I do? Changing yourself is not that easy. And above all: How would I like to be able to be in such situations instead?

 At least it comforts me that I'm not the only one who warns some pushers to stay in line.

walk-in dome with echo effects

There is a lot of noise up in the dome. Almost everyone shouts something and wants to experience the echo.

I keep thinking about my aggression and try to justify myself. Of course it's not right when people push and push from behind. But it's me whose stomach hurts; it is I who feel poison within me; it's me who wants to vent hot aggression; it's me feeling all queasy right now; it is me who, like my father and grandfather, may get cancer.

 

Also later when going down I warn pushers. The poison continues to work in me. I'm even discovering that I'm unable to look benevolently at other nice people right now. Instead, I stare irritably and simmer in my indignation soup.

 

When I leave the premises later, I slowly calm down. I feel thrown back in my inner development. It is possible that this is the karma price for the previous ticket fraud.

 

In a snack bar I try to observe the burning in my stomach neutrally. The Vipassana technique. It gets better. But I sense that I still have to relive, suffer and accept a long list of previous scams.

 

The strangely noble behavior of the Indian manager, on the other hand, who even wanted to let me in for free in the end... there are great people!