It hurts inside to walk away from the Bodhi Zendo. The 6 months of Zen practice have helped me advance internally. There is some risk in leaving the regular daily business of meditation. I dare to compare it with a child in the womb: Why leave this wonderful, warm, filling, sheltered place after nine months to risk an unknown existence ?! It is also an inconvenient time to leave because of the rainy season. I postpone my departure twice because the laundry won't dry on the line. And enriching conversations with other meditators arise every day. But now the next step has to take place. A Sesshin begins on Thursday evening for three days. I no longer take part in the meetings, try to be inconspicuous and feel "wrong" in my place. On Friday morning there were still two damp clothes hanging on the line. I break the rule and ask Peter, who is attending the Shessin, whether he can bring the dry laundry to the office in the afternoon. Sasikumar, the caretaker, will later bring t...
 
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